The Ultimate Cat: Telling the story of the struggles of retirement, caring for older parents

If ever you want to figure out what life will be like when you are older and no longer working, pick up a copy of The Ultimate Cat by Naomi P. Lane.

In an honest, no-holds-barred style, Lane walks us through her life – caring for both her mom and her husband’s as they transition away from work into retirement.

When the moms both go into care, almost at the same time, she and her husband are “gobsmacked… suddenly, all the possibilities of living on our own flash before us.”

There’s still the work of clearing out two houses, though. “Thankfully, both homes sell quickly, and there’s enough money to pay for the mothers’ care homes in perpetuity.” She and her husband can afford to retire, and spend more time with their respective mothers, the book continues.

She talks about the transition from working to not.

“We can sit and drink coffee and read the news or do a crossword for as long as we like…. There is no mini-celebration at the end of the workweek and no alcohol-fed burnout session,” she writes. Weekends are no longer that big a deal, and when their first pension cheques arrive, “we cannot believe we are being paid to do nothing.”

There’s more time than they bargained for, she notes.

“We realize we are sleeping way too much but we don’t care,” she writes. “Make a big breakfast? Nap. Go out shopping and visit the mothers? Nap. Entertain visitors? Nap,” she writes.

“For the first time in our lives we do exactly as we please and it is wonderful!”

They note that while the odds of grandkids in the near future seem slim, “we will have to entertain ourselves. This is the ultimate challenge of retirement.”

In a chapter talking about revitalizing old friendships and making new ones, Lane offers some sage advice. “At this age,” she confides, “it is time to let go of friendships that are no longer working for you,” even with some family members. “There’s no time for hurtful relationships at this point in our lives,” she writes.

A later chapter outlines what it’s like to lose a parent. In addition to the pain and loss, there is a ton of stuff to do, Lane notes.

You are “running around closing bank accounts and care home accounts, cancelling payments and memberships to every organization she belonged to, closing pensions, picking up signed copies of death certificates and wills, notifying all the friends and neighbours, placing an obituary notice in the newspaper, mailing cards overseas to distant relatives, making funeral arrangements and ordering flowers… then thanking everyone,” she writes.

As you get older, a later chapter tells us, you need to look after your health and fitness. “The trick is to keep moving,” she writes. “Even my 94-year-old mother tried to walk a lap around the care home with her walker until the last six months when she was wheelchair bound.” Her mom used to tell her “you must let me do as much as I can, even if I’m painfully slow at it.”

You also need to stay busy, she writes. She and her husband both did some volunteer work, for the social connections and satisfaction such work provides. Other friends use retirement “to make an impact on a broader scale,” doing such things as running an orphanage in Kenya, or teaching English in Guatemala.

They thought about moving somewhere warmer and smaller. But things to consider, she writes, are whether or not your new rural area offers good access to healthcare or hospitals. Will you be able to replace the friends and comforts of your present home in a new locale?

If you face health challenges – like cancer – later in life, “please ask for help from your inner circle or from volunteer organizations like the local cancer society. There is plenty of help available across many areas of daily life, such as volunteer drivers, shoppers, people who deliver medical supplies and peer support groups,” she writes.

In a chapter on attending a high school reunion decades after graduation, she writes “we are shocked to see that everyone we remember from high school looks so ancient! How did they get so old? We suddenly realize, like a slap in the face, that this is how we look to them as well.”

A chapter near the end of the book focuses on the importance of having a will and designating people as powers of attorney for health and finance. “Now is the time to share your wealth, if you have any, with the people who are important to you,” she advises. Take family out to supper, or on a vacation, or buy toys for grandkids. “If you don’t have money, give them the gift of your time.”

Retirement, the book concludes “is the time to embrace the best part of your life and enjoy every day to its fullest.”

This is a great read, and many of us of a certain age will totally identify with the situations and characters faced by the author. This will give you a real sense, if you are younger, of the triumphs and challenges that await you in the life after work.

If you are fortunate enough to have a retirement program at work, be sure to contribute as much as you can to it. If not, an alternative do-it-yourself approach is available via the Saskatchewan Pension Plan (www.saskpension.com). You decide how much to contribute, SPP does the rest.

Your contributions are grown through investment in a professionally managed, low-cost pooled fund, now nearing $1 billion in value.

At retirement, your options include receiving a monthly lifetime SPP annuity, or the more flexible Variable Benefit. Check out SPP today